change color of one specific row in listview

I have a listview (liste_joueurs), when i click on an item in the list, the row change color and become grey ( this is for the user, he can remenber on which row he click ).

It's not finish i have 12 button and each item on a list got a number, when i click on an item in the list one button appears and his text take the number of the player, here's a picture of the fragment.

If the user make a mistake, I have a onclickListener for the 12 button below and when I click on, the button disappears, but my problem is I need to find the good row corresponding to the number and change his color in white. How can i do this ?

Now let's see the code

In my fragment :

 // I take all the player in my database
 Cursor cursor = joueurDab.getAll();
 //I fill the listView with a cursorAdapter
 CursorListJoueur cl = new CursorListJoueur(context, cursor);
 liste_joueurs.setAdapter(cl);

The cursorAdapter :

public class CursorListJoueur extends CursorAdapter {

private CategorieDAO categorieDab;
public CursorListJoueur(Context pContext, Cursor c) {
    super(pContext, c, 0);
}
@Override
public View newView(Context context, Cursor cursor, ViewGroup parent) {
    categorieDab = new CategorieDAO(context);
    return LayoutInflater.from(context).inflate(R.layout.row_player, parent, false);
//row_player is the xml file where I highlight row 
}

@Override
public void bindView(View view, Context context, Cursor cursor) {

    Categorie categorie = this.categorieDab.selectionner(cursor.getInt( 6 ));

    ((TextView) view.findViewById(R.id.numero)).setText(String.valueOf(cursor.getInt(1)));
    ((TextView)view.findViewById( R.id.nom )).setText(cursor.getString(2));
    ((TextView)view.findViewById( R.id.prenom )).setText(cursor.getString( 3 ));
    ((TextView)view.findViewById( R.id.categorie )).setText(categorie.getNom());


    if( cursor.getInt( 5 ) == 1)
        ((CheckBox)view.findViewById( R.id.is_goal )).setChecked( true );
    else
        ((CheckBox)view.findViewById( R.id.is_goal )).setChecked( false );
}
}

The row_player.xml

<LinearLayout xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android"
  android:orientation="horizontal"
android:layout_width="match_parent"
//this ligne
android:background="@drawable/testlist"
android:layout_height="match_parent">

<TextView
    //etc ...

And finally testlist.xml i use this file for highlight my listview

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<selector xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android">
    <item android:drawable="@android:color/darker_gray" android:state_selected="true"/>
    <item android:drawable="@android:color/darker_gray" android:state_activated="true"/>
    <item android:drawable="@android:color/darker_gray" android:state_pressed="true"/>
    <item android:drawable="@color/android:transparent"/>
</selector>

Thanks for your help